Rolling Down
I got a letter in the mail a couple weeks ago addressed to both me and Alex. This is the first time I’ve shared an address line with a name other than parents. It was an invitation to an engagement party. An intimate and relaxing afternoon spent at a winery. Since Alex took the summer off before starting his new job at the hospital, I knew he’d be able to attend. It’d be the first time going to engagement party together, and the first engagement of my friends. Only thing left to do was RSVP.
The couple has been together for over 7 years and yet, it still only seems like they just fell in love. I know the bride-to-be from my youth cheerleading days. It’s crazy to imagine the time that has passed since those days.
Finally, it was the day of the party. As we arrived at the winery, I couldn’t help but observe all the other gatherings on the lawn. Tents and extra-large picnic blankets. Dogs on leashed rolling around in the freshly mowed grass. Even some children were partaking in some of their own kinds of fun. One group of young women looked at if they were styled by the cast of Bridgeton, dressed head to toe in their best and frilliest 19th century attire.
Occasionally, I’d turn my head from the party and still see the kids running, rolling, flopping, tagging, hiding, and seeking. There I was, drinking wine slushy with my 21+ wrist band longing to be innocent and carefree for one more day.
Later that evening, Jolyn and Alexa joined us all on the boat for a sunset ride. I couldn’t get the image of the little girl tumbling down the hill out of my head. Her blonde pig tails wrapped in light pink ribbons to match her floral pink dress. Grass clippings and dirt stains covered the fabric, but she didn’t care. Her young laugh seemed to travel for miles, and I couldn’t help but giggle and wish I could join in on the fun. But I’m too old for playful grass stains on my clothes.
I remember this one time, my brother was playing in a youth football game, and I was off to the side playing on the hill with the younger siblings. I was wearing a new shirt my mother just bought for me. It had the image of a little yorkie dog wearing a tutu skirt. Unfortunately, after rolling and roughhousing on the big grass hill, I ended up ruining it, leaving me upset, my mother angry and a brand-new outfit unsuitable for return.
That’s the last time I remember playing on the hill. Maybe there was a situation or two after that, but not memorable enough to stick.
Slowly, and suddenly we are no longer these innocent little children, holding our mommy’s hand and drawing with crayon on the walls. Soon, we’re learning algebra, and getting our learners permit and falling in love and out of love. Soon enough, we’re opening our first credit card and getting invited, side-by-side, with your boyfriend to an engagement party. Suddenly, you’re old enough to be engaged. When did we all grow up? When did we realize it’d be our last roll down that big grass hill?
I decided to ask the girls.
“I’m not afraid to just roll down the hill again. Especially after an espresso martini or two. Or three… Just make sure I don’t crash,” says Jolyn.
We all laughed and agreed.
“I remember thinking I could do a cartwheel down one and I ended up rolling down,” my mom added.
“When was this? You were a kid?” Alexa asked.
“Nope. This was about a month ago,” mom said with a big grin.
I suppose the child in all of us never truly goes away. Not completely. In some ways, that’s comforting to know. No matter what age or how mature, we still have a little bit of innocence in us all, to keep us young.
